deadtofall

deadtofall @ 2004-10-11T13:03:00

2004-10-11T19:09:48Z

last day of being 17. woop woop.

the planet smashers also made my fuckin week, month...they were so good. ska shows are the funnest things in the world. and i got to see desi & derek & mal-meow & cj [twice! we were stopped at the same red light together when Corey picked her up from gabbo's when i was on my way back from des & dereks...it was hilarious : )]. i enjoy gettin all sweaty & such.
kelci & i met Kevin from catch 22 & he was really nice to talk to. found out a lot of interesting shit too.
then after the show i went & talked to Matt from the planet smashers. he's the coolest guy in the world. it costs them $5000 to go tour in the US for a year. that's disgusting. fuck america government is fucked up. and for that it wasn't even bush, it was clinton that raised the...whatevers before he got out of office. that was the best talk ever. then i told him i'm gonna marry him and he said cool.
har har har, i got their set list. i'm special.
i really enjoy hangin out with them regina kids.
i'm sick..prolly from going outside thursday night all wet. stupid me.j
oh!!! and on friday i was waiting in my car for my mom to come out of the mall cuz our parking meter was up, and there was Roque, innocently walking down the sidewalk. woot woot! so he stopped & talked for a bit [you're the best. hope you got back to work on time...]
i haven't talked to juston in like a week, and supposedly he's "gone" somewhere. it would be nice if i could be told what the FUCK IS GOING ON FOR FUCK SAKES. see, this is why i do not get involved with anyone...
now i'm mad.

"take that bitches!!" -- cher.

2004-10-06T18:19:22Z

no, seriously...take that.

so so so SO fucking bored.
tomorrow is the planet smashers! AHYYOOWW!!! and i'm fuckin goin cuz i so cleverly made a dentist apt. for super early friday morning..looks like i get to come in tomorrow. and i need to do some hardcore shopping. maybe i'll stay a bit longer...wait, i can't. mom's coming with me, blast!
going to stoon NEXT weekend (15th & so on...) yeah...i've been waiting 3 weeks to go up andnow i'm waiting another.
i've stripped my walls completely, and packed up a LOT of shit. less to do when i do move. i'm so confused, regina or saskatoon? i hate this, i really do.

quit fuckin whining.
man i'm so bored. i spend most of my time doing shit around that house that doesn't need to be done, watching movies, oh! & i've made friends with one of Atreyu's roadie that runs their myspace.come account, and we talk a lot. he's a real nice guy, he gets to break up fights at shows & shit.

we should be done combining today, about fucking time.

6 days til i'm 18. go me. i'm already planning my tattoos.

wow it's 23* outside.

juston & i have going out for just over 3 months. go me. and i haven't got sick of him yet.

i miss my class. i'm such a wuss. and a puss! [haha roque i lurv you]

someone tell me something interesting. NOWWWWWWW

: (

2004-09-16T23:18:49Z

Um, ok did I not just say yesterday that people were dropping like flies?
No no no no Johnny NOOOOOO. No more Ramones left, this fucking breaks my heart, another legend...gone.
What’s left? Oh what’s left.
The ramones rocked...and still do. They’ll fucking live on forever in my heart, FOREVER.

i talked to Otep on myspace today : D

I’m STILL experiencing the gaping wounds of christ!

2004-09-16T01:45:37Z

Holy fuck I haven’t made an actual entry in a long time....guess I grew out of it? I dunno. It just seems like I have no time, even though I have all the time in the world cuz I’m just staying at home still. “still” see, what the hell is that? Just cuz I’m graduated doesn’t mean I have to leave. It fucking pisses me off. But I do want to move out and get a job. But honestly, it’s like “the only option” cuz everyone that sees me “so what are you doing now” my answer--absolutely nothing. I wanna add “you gotta problem with that?!” or “is that alright with you or should I be doing something better with my time” fuck off I swear to god if someone asks what im gonna be doing I’m gonna rip their fucking limbs off.

I dyed my hair...it’s pretty purple, you can really tell in the light. I like it. Mom likes my gold better, but hey, I’ll go back to that later.

Fuck I really feel like talking, or letting stuff out. Maybe that’s why I used to write in here a lot, cuz I couldn’t actually talk to anyone else...that or I had no life.
Kids are dropping like flies. it breaks my black heard. Those kids in Regina...& on Friday, this guy, Nathan (from Foam Lake) got in a car accident & died. Then on Sunday, this guy, Todd (from Wynyard) was coming back from visiting Nathan’s parents & rolled his vehicle too. He died yesterday. I didn’t know Todd much...but I knew Nathan. And I liked him a lot. He’s one of those guys that everyone likes cuz he’s just so nice & always has time to talk with everyone. I used to have the biggest crush on him too. He used to let me hold his hand at little mexico parties...even tho he had a g/f. hehe. His funeral was today, and honestly that was the saddest funeral I’ve ever been too. It didn’t even feel like a funeral, it was just so ...just so. He was only 19.

I’ll never understand why ppl go so young, kids aren supposed to outlive their parents.

The rest of today was just gross. Nothing felt right ya know, and it still doesn’t.

Hmmm...what else could I say? I don’t know if I’m goin to the casualties yet. It’s Juston’s birthday that day...so I guess it’s up to him. I wouldn’t mind knowing what he wants to do, cuz if he ends up like doing something that can’t involve a minor than...well, I’d like to go to the casualties cuz they rule. And I need to go to the city. Like now. And it’s the casualties. I missed them last November & that just chapped my ass.
From autumn to ashes was so good...so was 18 visions. I don’t remember much of killswitch tho. I was fuckin outside the door holding ice on my nose/head. Yeah got in a little accident in the pit. But one good thing came out of it, I got to meet the singer for 18V, SOOOOO HOT & SUPPPER SWEET! Very nice guy.
I’m really torn between whether I should move to Regina or Stoon. I have everyone in Regina, friends, family...but in stoon there’s Juston, and I guess I have a couple of friends I could do shit with. I just don’t know.

My hands smell like Javex. I cooked some chicken tonight...good ol salmonella.
I have a headache. I tried to nap this afternoon but I always get interrupted by the phone. But it was a good interruption I guess. I didn’t sleep much last night. I knew what today would be like.

I need to do something. I kinda feel sick so I don’t think I’ll go out...cuz some boys are out, who knows if they’re doing something. I wouldn’t mind drinking tho, I haven’t drank in so long--like drank to get drunk. I had a few drinks in Kelliher bar the other weekend. That was FUCKING FUN. Definitely doing that again.
Oh! It’s Kelliher Grad this weekend! <3 woo! Kimmy’s graduating! This should be fun...hell yes, I actually get to get loaded. It’s funny just cuz it’s summer it’s like suddenly NOW I don’t go out. *pouts* I sure wish Juston could come out for Kelliher grad...it’s always nicer when the boyfriend is around. Especially when I’m gonna be drinking.
I don’t even know why I write in here.

Hi Bianca! Hiiii lyyyysh!
<3 JAVEX HANDS.

Ps. EVERYONE GO HERE OR BE PUNISHED...no seriously fucking check it out.
http://www.members.shaw.ca/flatlineoa/

deadtofall @ 2004-08-18T14:44:00

2004-08-18T20:51:45Z

i am aware that it's wednesday already, but i'm gonna say that i had THE best fucking weekend i've ever had and it's gonna take a lot to top it...well, minus some stupid immature parts that unfortunately happened cuz some ppl are immature and get on my nerves, but yay i got to see Juston a whole bunch. sleepign with him...nothing is better, and i mean nothing. couldn't live without.
bif was fucking aaaaamazing. i like her a lot. and ohhh Brit<3 what a babe...
i wanna go back to saskatoon. it's a nice city. nicer than regina. i kinda wanna move there, i dont know where i wanna go anymore. oh.
i just had a girls night last night with Amy & Melissa. oh i miss my girls so much. it was great. we ate so much brownie batter & brownies we all got sick and tried to work it off but it didn't work cuz we were laughing so hard out stomachs just went fucking numb. it was great. and tonight we're goin out and drinkin some drinks.
i really want to go back to stoon to stay with Juston. he's wonderful.

OOHHHH HOLY FACK. <3 casualties <3 in Regina on his birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how great is that? fuck that makes me all tingly inside...(Sept. 25th) if anyone knows who's playin with them--lemme know!

SUMMER IS FUCK

deadtofall @ 2004-08-05T15:19:00

2004-08-05T21:24:30Z

im in regina...at my uncles... I WANT CHOCOLATE! *slams fist on desk*
we went to smitty's for breakfast and the bread was so dry it made me cry cuz i NEVER have bad breakfasts at smitty's...the french toast is always to DIE FOR. and there a corner table of assholes that wouldn't stop staring at me so i tried to slouch and this one guy wouldn't stop...so i said something to dad and dad said aloud "do you mind?!" fuck it was great...even tho it was 3 little words, it was from Dennis, therefore he means business! : )
my dad's truck is gettin worked on for the day so uncle bob is being nice and taking us around. i went to value village today. thought i saw bianca...but it wasn't her : ( but i got a home depot shirt. i haven't been in there in forever...homedepot AND value village.
i'm fixing my uncles computer right now. go me. it's a real nice one. this keyboard is like sex...it, nevermind.
i miss juston. WHAT THE HELL. look at me i'm the obsessed girlfriend that can't stop missing her b/f. HEY! screw you he's over 2 hours away...we barely see each other, i'm allowed to bitch and complain. soon, things will change. get maself a cur and uh jawwwb.
g2g...

your voice is the soundtrack to my dreams.

2004-08-05T00:02:53Z

AAAAAAAAA-O!!!
Oh man I’m so bored.
I’m a little disappointed that I’m not in Regina right now, cuz I should be. Dad was gonna get his brakes checked & I was gonna go with him & surprise everyone by coming to the ripcordz AND the Shitheads show *sniff* but his appt. was changed to tomorrow morning. I tried my hardest to make him go this afternoon & stay over...it was the first time I begged for something in about 3 years. But instead we stayed home today. I cut grass, did laundry, baked some crispy fudge, called Ciera, talked to Alex, called mom @ work cuz I was bored, dusted, went for a 1 hr bike ride, took pictures of pretty clouds, & I still have to pack my shit & vacuum. Why the hell does vacuum have 2 u’s?
mom should be home soon & we’re gonna have a wiener roast. How sweet. All I wanna do is be in Saskatoon with Juston.

But anyways...I’m coming to Regina tomorrow & I’m staying til either Sat. or Sun. when Cally, Chad & Ciera come in for Buffalo Days...so I’m going to spend the day with them & then probly go home with them. Oh I hope they come on sun. so I’ll be in Regina longer cuz it’s SO FUCKING BORING HERE. But yeah...someone should call me at my grama’s! FUCK.

BUFFALO DAYS IS ON!!!! EEEEEEEEE oh i live for the fair...it makes life worthwhile, i'm tellin ya! <3 oh the mini-doughnuts <3 oh the rides...oh!!

god is a gun.

2004-07-31T21:13:34Z

Well I sorta feel like writing in here...
Nothing to interesting is going on with me...honestly. I’m just kickin back, enjoying summer & being extremely lazy. I’m not doing ANYTHING. I’ve barely gone out even...I’m pretty mad about this weekend tho. I missed misery signals *sniff* & we didn’t end up going to Outlook for the weekend cuz my auntie gwen & uncle Eugene came out this morning for the weekend. : ( I reeeeally wanted to go to Outlook this weekend. We NEVER miss a long weekend in outlook. I miss Jill too, I really wanted to see her, along with the rest of my family. Next year?
I miss Juston so much, and I just saw him Wednesday night. Oh that was the best time ever. Nothing will ever beat times that we spend alone, even if they’re not that long. We had about...8 hours together, ALONE <3 oh that makes my heart sing out in happiness! My parents had a great time at Cher while I had a great time with my baby *sigh* he means the world to me. And he has a cute little house in a cute lil part of town.
I’m babysitting some real cute kids tonight! Actually, in 2 hours.
I need a car...real bad.
I’m really excited for buffalo days. I’m going with Cally, Chad & Ciera...either on Sat. or Sun. but dad’s going to Regina on Tues. or Wed. & I think I might stay in Regina...I dunno if I want to stay with Grama tho...but I think I will but maybe I’ll pop in to visit some people THAT HAVE THEIR OWN PLACES!!!!!? Eeehehehe
I had a lot of places that I wanted to go this weekend, and this is usually what happens I have like 4 different places to go to & I end up staying home! BOO. Kelvington fair is on!! I wanna go see Ryan. I have to go see a lot of ppl tho. I was like “yeah, I’ll go visit everyone this summer” summer is almost OVER FUCK. But it’s nice knowing I don’t have to go back to school at the end tho, I just have to find a job. I think I want to get my own place rather than stay with my auntie for a while...I don’t know anything anymore. Should I go to Saskatoon? I’d be going for Juston, not saying that that isn’t enough...I just don’t want to mess anything up with anyone. I don’t know if I could do that, but I hate being so far from him-it kills me inside. Should I go straight to Medicine Hat? Should I go to Lake Louise or Jasper to work in the new hotels? I would go there RIGHT NOW...but Haha, I have a b/f holding me back. I worded that wrong, he’s not holding me back, I just couldn’t leave him...cuz really if I went there, we’d NEVER see each other, we barely see each other now I don’t know how I survive without him. I’m not the girl that depends on her b/f, I’m just the uber emo girl that couldn’t be any happier than in his presence.
I really need a car cuz then I could go actually visit ppl MYSELF and not have to worry about finding rides or worrying about timing and stuff...FUCK.
Today was good so far. I’m pretty bored tho, like I honestly don’t know what to do...I could do a lot of things but I just don’t feel like it cuz it’s not that vital that I do them. But my uncle & auntie got here at 10:30 & I cleaned myself up & went to Bankend to visit Peach at the co-op. I was there for 1 hr + 45 min!!! HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA. I just love visiting her. I like peach a lot. We should hang out more her & I. I bought her some purple hair dye! I hope she likes it. She gave me some choc. bars for .66 : )
I don’t know what else I should be doing to enjoy my summer cuz I need to savor it all before the cold weather comes & I end up regrettin not doing ____ ya know? I think too much. Quit it. That’s the worst thing I can right now--is think too much about anything. It’s summer, I’m young, out of school I should be takin er easy & livin it up. I’m TRYING.
I’m gonna go stay with Juston in stoon for a while.
All I do is eat smartie chocolate bars....that’s my substitute for Juston. (this one tastes like jam...what the hell????)
Oh my god tomorrow is AUGUST : O
someone tell me a story or call me...I'M BORED!

BAHFUG

2004-07-01T01:10:56Z

WOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW it's summer! WEEEEEEEEEE
yeah i'm alright i guess. haven't had the greatest couple of days since friday, who cares.
it's summer, let's all be happy happy happy!
tomorrow is canada day & i'm takin jane with me to the lake!!!! weeeee! : ) rockfest too. ohhhh SPARKY & cessate bitch. i miss juston sooo much : (
i got my report card today. YUS. and the video from grad. i cried a whole bunch.
i went to town today & jane & i went for lunch and then we tanned for a bit at her house then we were kicked inside cuz of the stupid bugs. so we hung out & watched movies. then we went drivin around AND THE FUCKING COPS WERE IN TOWN!!! TWO OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! man somehting was up...something real fishy. i'll find out in a couple of days and see what the hell is up.
LAKE TOMORROW YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my finger hurts. so does my heart.
JUSTON IS COMING OUT THIS WEEKEND. i love that boy.
going to regina friday with Dad...and i'm going to the doctor too. woo.
i had something else to say...oh that's right i hate writing in here & i'm leaving.

aww:

My Best Friend is seattlewasariot

Our 11 common interests are: afi, atreyu, cky, cradle of filth, dirtbred, finch, nofx, rancid, the distillers, thrice, tsunami bomb

Who is your best friend?

Created by macoto

what a wonderful world

2004-06-11T00:36:44Z

Awwww holy hell I’m beat.
Today is the day before grad. The day before the big day & I’ve been uber busy from the second I got up this morning. I guess it’s all exciting. When I was putting stuff away from the freezer upstairs it hit me...all this preparation is FOR ME. It’s kinda weird cuz nothing is ever really this big...the last time we did something this big I was 2 foot nothing for my grandparents anniversary or something. I’m just really happy...but tired. It reminds me of the louis Armstrong song - what a wonderful world <3
I phoned lee tonight & we got everything set up for tomorrow...cept he might be a little late leaving from the city. Minor.
Dad went to Wadena [& Wynyard] today & he fucking met Wendal Clark’s DAD!!! How cool is that? Haha he was so excited he doesn’t even remember his name. Dad fucking told him about ME & my grad. He said he’s never had to do that (grad prep) b/c wendal went to notre dame & shit. Man that’s awesome.
I packed the downstairs fridge with beer. Packed it to the nuts. We have so much alcohol I almost creamed myself today.
I cracked. I broke. I have been eating a buncha junk food for the past 2 days. It’s there...so I eat it. Damn me. Actually...damn those sugar cookies.
I wrapped lee’s present today too. I got him a 26 (a crock) of Crown Royal. He’ll love it.

The one bad thing is the weather. Like...I figured cuz it’s june it would be awesome outside...but no. it has to fucking rain. What about the grad party? Muddy? Cold? THE WET WOOD FOR THE FIRE. FUCK. Man I hope the sun is out Saturday. It can rain ANY other time than now...SUN COME OUT DAMMIT.
This week rocked. I’ve only been in school for 1.5 days.
Oh yeah...mom & I went to Regina Tuesday afternoon (3) & stayed over til wed. at noon. We bought so much shit, & didn’t get in one fight. We’re both good at this this week...considering it’s grad & all. I suck at explaining shit. Sorry. I’m tired.
Uncle Andrew & family were supposed to be here by now but they had trouble w/ the lights on their camper so they left at 5 & MIGHT stay over in stoon tonight. They’re coming from Edmonton.
I went to bed last night at 10. I was aiming for earlier but <3 Amber phoned = )

So yeah...this is me signing off for a while. I’ve been pretty busy the past while with grad & still will be after. Oh the joy of family & friends....and presents. Oh how petty of you Meghan. Oh the shame.
Viewing gym @ 8:30 tomorrow morning, then going to Kyle’s for breakfast, then back here, showering, then it all begins when I get my hair done @ 10:30! Weeee then after that free time to get all my shit ready til 3 when we go into town for pictures & don’t come back to the house til after the grand march. (that is...after I take my dancing shoes off!)
Fuck blood for blood rocks.

10 days til grad! woo woo woo woo

2004-06-01T15:51:36Z

mmmhmmmmm
http://www.geocities.com/megs_dobranski/brody.html

http://www.geocities.com/megs_dobranski/broken_mirror5.html

a guy like you should wear a warning

2004-05-31T02:27:56Z

Ok, fucking awesome weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes.

Oh it was so good. I spent pretty much all of it with Amber & Steven. And Cooter.
Friday at school Amber & Cheryl came to visit. Then cheryl came over after school cuz Amber was gone to Foam Lake for her big day. Cheryl & I picked up Steven & we went to Amber’s GRADUATION. It was fun. She looked like amazing. Absolutely goooorgeous. She’s my lil princess! Then we just went to her house after & dad picked me up at 1. So tired.
Saturday got ready & went to Amber’s crib before 2. That was fun. I hung out with Bobbi cuz I love that woman! There’s this guy there that was all drunked up & he’s calling Amber’s brothers (Tyler & Garret) “Trojan” & “Kurt” bahaha it was priceless. Food was so good (dammit Debbie that dip is to die for!) Jolene came! I like her. Then Steven, Lee & Cooter (mmm) FINALLY got there. Chriiiist. Yeah, I haven’t seen Cooter in ages. His hair is in braids...*cat call*. Baaah. Lee was HAMMERED. He just sat beside me on the couch & sipping his beer like a drunk hilarious cute lunatic that he is. He kept poking me. Jesus. Then he decides it would be great to trip me whenever I move. He did that & I punched him cuz I was on my way to Amber’s room. Then he comes in there & body checks me from the back & we ended up wrestling on Amber’s bed. Priceless.
So then the guys decide to pick up Bear. “we’ll be back in an hour” right. They got stuck in the mud & had to walk 8 miles to Steven’s to get a vehicle--which was the Blunt Mobile (homemade convertible--oh yes, he cut the top off. Oh, & it’s not licensed. & Cooter isn’t even supposed to be out here & he was driving.) so several hours later after PEACH (!!) came over & Amber’s girl friends from Yorkton made it out we took off towards Kelliher & there’s someone behind us flashing us. It’s the boys in the Blunt Mobile. O lord. Poor Amber was so mad. I really wish Steven would use his phone. Lee hopped in with me (heh I got to sit on him.) & we were drinkin some JD. The boys dropped the car off at Peaches & hopped in with us to go to Amber’s. that was interesting. I was drunk by then so stuff after is a little blurry. Amber took off, so we went in the girls’ car...yes, all 9 of us. = D hehe (Lee had to sit on Steven...gold) we went to Wishart, then to Steven’s. then Peach & Amber show up. I went into the house & Lee & the girls left. I’m assuming they took him home. Then we just stayed at Steven’s (Amber, Steven, Cooter & I.) went downstairs & we all end up falling asleep. Fuck. I woke up at 8 & bolted upstairs to phone mom. She seemed ok...I think. I was still drunk when I woke up. I didn’t think I was that drunk when I was drinking. Damn Wisers.
After that was great...we all hopped in the tractor (Cooter driving) & pulled Steven’s truck out. Holy shit was that truck in there good. Mud ALL over the tractor. Then we went to town & drove around, did some backroading, then back to Steven’s. it was a lazy day. It was good tho, cuz I actually didn’t mind staying there. At 3 we went into Kelliher, got Amber’s car, we took off home & Steven took Cooter back to Maclean. So I got home at 4...in the afternoon. : ) it was pretty fun not being at home much this weekend. I’m young, it’s my best friends grad, it was some gooood times. I can’t believe I’m saying this....I could really get used to seeing Cooter on a regular basis.

I like to smile.

WHAT A FUN WEEKEND!

DAMN (those) BLUE EYES. Damn them to HELL.

deadtofall @ 2004-05-28T11:49:00

2004-05-28T17:50:57Z

It's Friday!
It's Friday!
It's Friday!
It's Friday!
It's Friday!
It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amber's grad tonight! weeee

this is me trying to stay happy...Juston can't come out this weekend, again. *cries like a wounded puppy*
i guess i won't see him til grad :'(
*turns away so no one can see me cry*

have a good weekend kids!

tuesDAY & night fucking rocked.

2004-05-27T22:51:12Z

It’s weird that when you don’t go on the computer for 3 days it feels like a week. I suck that much.

This week was good stuff.
Monday-no school.
Tuesday-went to school from 9-10 then went home. Then dad took me to Lipton & Derek & I hung out til his brother got back from school. Haha, we watched videos...it was the best. I want a copy cuz they’re the funniest things ever. Fat Tony...drunk, that was the best. I’m smiling just thinking of it. So I got to meet his bro (broa!) Neil, wee! I like that kid, he’s cool. We didn’t leave for Regina til like 5 & picked up Kelsie (1st time I met her & I like her a lot) in the Fort & went to visit Mali-cat at subway! God I missed her, I almost cried. Then we went to Mickaydys (not steak king)...where some funny shit went down. Then to THE DISTILLERS. I got to see Desi, Linz, & Avin : ) We fucking met <3 Ryan, & saw Tony. It was a lot of fun. Sure beats metallica. Sooo close to Brody I could have had 907 orgasms. She’s so sexy it’s insane. Man she’s amazing. Ryan is really fucking cool, he likes Nova Scotia too! Very nice guy. Fattony got 1 of Andy’s drumsticks. Lucky lil bugger! Des & I were sweatier than 2 professional porn stars that film for 3 days! It was the absolute BEST.
Wednesday-stayed at Grama’s til 2 when mom picked me up, we went shopping in sucky places until we picked dad up at the hospital. I think he has a pinched nerve in his back. Yay lets spend more $ & get another operation that won’t fix anything. Yesterday sucked a lot, I wish I would have just went home Tuesday night. I found out that a lot of my family won’t be coming to my graduation. Which reminds me of Amber’s situation...but I made 70 invites, not 17. It kinda sucks that a lot of my family lives kinda far away. Wait? THEY DON’T. whatever. They work, maybe $ is tight. It’s just a little...well, it hurts. It really does hurt. I understand that it’s nothing personal, but this is the most important day of my life (fuck weddings) & I’d like the ppl that have known me since day 1 to be there. At that moment I felt pretty bitter & felt like friends were all I had. Oh stupid mind. Who would’ve thought my own thoughts could get me into so much trouble? Who thought not doing what everyone tells me too all the time would get me into trouble? Fuck you I’m not a bad kid. I was really pissed off at my parents yesterday. I ended up crying like 5 fucking times. Tuesday & Wednesday were totally opposite.
Today (Thursday)-went to school, found out the track meet was cancelled on Wed. & put on today so majority of my class was in Yorkton, so I got mom to pick me up at 9:05. Bahaha, so so far this week I have spent 1hr+15min in school.
Mom & Dad have kept me busy as hell all fucking day & I’ve honestly had about enough, so I came on here. Right now mom’s rummaging around me...let me have a fucking break. I made the shower it’s actual color today (it went from grey to orange due to iron water.)
I’ve put in a full day & am pretty beat.

AMBER’S GRAD IS TOMORROW!!!!! I get to see Cooter (strangely excited, still.) & Juston...should be out Saturday. Sweet shit I hope he comes out.
When school is done tomorrow, it’s time to celebrate & get hammered with my best friend!!!!!!!!!!!

14 days til grad

the time for sex is upon us. (this weekend anyways)

2004-05-24T00:41:17Z

So it’s Sunday. The feeling that I have inside me, just knowing I don’t have to go to school tomorrow, is fucking ginormous. It’s a relief knowing that I don’t have to go there tomorrow, that I’ll be at home all day, even tho I will have to help my mom with stuff.
I just made lasagna. It was pretty good. Dad didn’t have any...how rude. He eats like 40% of stuff I bake. He doesn’t even try my cookies. Douchbag.
Hey! This is the last sort of break before the end of school...FOREVER. Woo!
Amber’s grad is in 5 days. FIVE!!! I’m really excited for that, she’s gonna look so gorgeous. Cooter is even coming out. I’m strangely excited for that. I figure he’ll escort me to Amber’s grad. Haha. This weekend is gonna be fuuuuun. This means the Amber & I actually get to get drunk together & not have to worry about if one of us might have to drive cuz Steven’s too tired. And she’s having her little after grad thing Saturday afternoon, and Juston’s coming out Saturday!!! He didn’t make it out this past weekend cuz his ride went to Edmonton. I wish he would come out Friday for the actual grad, but he’s going to a show. But I did talk to him lots tho cuz I was a phone slut. I got to have Steven’s cell all weekend. Weee!
Friday night Steven picked me up & we went to get Lee in Kelliher, but I talked to his dad & he said lee was “sprawled out on the couch” (he had a rough week) so it was just Steven & I. ROAD TRIP! Haha, it was awesome tho, now we’re like *this* (^_^)
That reminds me. I phoned Lee earlier this week, & we ended up talking for like 20 min. poor kid slept in his car for 3 nights. But he’s gonna live with his brother when he gets back. So that’s good. Lee is the greatest thing ever made by 2 ppl having sex.
Amber’s place is so cool, besides the fact that there isn’t a bedroom, it’s all one room...it’s the shit. I really have to go there more often. I can see how she can get lonely. I love her. Her & Steven both got new stereos in their cars. I like Amber’s deck better tho. We drove around a bit, then slept for 3.5 hours. Greeeat. We watched “Gothika” (awesome), “Jawbreaker”, & “School of Rock”. Amber is such a DVD slut, I <3 it.
Saturday was fun. Amber went to tan at Fabutan(!!!!), & Steven & I went to the autobody place, and the guy (he’s from Kelliher as well) gave us pizza! And now he thinks I’m Steven’s girlfriend. That’s the best. Then we went for lunch & I went for a free 7 minute tan. Me...in a tanning bed. It was pretty mint tho. I figured it wouldn’t do anything, but I burnt. My boobs are burnt, & now I have an underwear tan. Shoulda went comando...dammit.
Steven & I went home after Amber went to work at 5:30. We picked up LeeLee (I love that boy) he was so hyper, it was cute as hell. We drove around a bunch, then he drove me to the junction house & dad picked me up there. I was kinda choked about not going out with Steven & Lee, but I was tired & I wasn’t sure if mom & dad were mad or not....so yeah. I had a really good time, kinda lonely tho...I don’t usually feel like a 3rd wheel, but when we sleep over...yeah. : (
Last night I got home, unpacked & went on the computer. Haven’t seen much of my parents. haha. Then I went out again. To Kelliher & Ituna. I was pretty tired so it wasn’t the most swell of nights. It was an early night. Got home at 2:15. Then I emailed Juston til 3:30.
Derek + Des phoned me today. I like them kids. Hehehe
Distillers in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, if anyone ever gets sick & they don’t know what it’s from...it’s the gaping wounds of christ, yes...that’s what you’re experiencing motherfucker!

Me: “hey...where’s the moon?” *looks out car window*
Jordan: “oh my god, did you just say ‘where’s the poon’?!” -> best thing ever.

fuck you.

2004-05-21T21:10:44Z

i'm so glad it's friday.
juston's coming out.
payden's out!

i got my hair done yesterday.woo

...and it feels right this time.

2004-05-06T23:18:48Z

already in my dj...i'm so lazy.
Dad’s on the field & mom’s working in Wishart today, HOME ALONE since 1.

I’m so out of shape it hurts. I ran from the shed to the house, got water, and back to the shed & I was hurting. Not a good thing. I’m still sweating. Let’s just blame it on the asthma, k?
Mom & I went to stoon on Tuesday cuz my dress came in. I got to drive there AND she let me drive in the city for a bit. (that’s somewhat of a big deal cuz I’ve never drove in stoon before, never mind her car, and she never lets me drive her car. It was fun.) short trip, but good cuz I got my dress.
This week was a bore cuz I was so tired from the weekend.
Amber came over today and I gave her her towels that I bought her.
Got off school at noon today & rescheduled my trial hair appointment for the 19th. I just gotta get the pics of me in my dress, that mom took last night, developed so I can give them to Bev so then we can decide what to do with my hair.
Jane was supposed to come with us to stoon, but our plans...wait, there are none, so she’s taking the bus tonight. I felt bad cuz I really tried to find out when we’re leaving, etc. but it’s seeding time so any “plans” are destroyed cuz anything can happen. I’m not sure if she understood, but I did want her to come with us.
Hopefully Amber, Steven & I end up going to stoon tonight so we can do whatever tomorrow.
I wanna see Juston soooooooo bad. Yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder.
Speaking of fond...Greg phoned me last night! Words can’t describe how good it felt to talk to him. It was good (he phoned you Lysh! Aww!) and yeah, it was just good. I’m not that bitter anymore for him not phoning, cuz I think he enjoyed talking to me too. He might be coming out to SK in September. I sure wish I was (financially) able to go to Montreal. One day....

Dad let me fill up with fertilizer today. Weee
One month til I’m legally allowed in wal-marts across Canada aand the circle mall in stoon. weee

Wow, I couldn’t even finish this without helping dad. See, it’s seeding time motherfucker! Ahh life on the farm.
I don’t even know if I’m gonna be going to lipton this Saturday...
-haven’t even talked to dad about it cuz I never get to see him long enough to mention it.
-with seeding, it’s doubtful that I’ll get to take a vehicle for “that long” not like I’m staying for a week, but that’s life with 2 vehicles, 3 ppl & a farm. *sigh*
Lynds is havin a party at her place sat. night, so if I end up not going to Lipton [:’(] I’m still going out. But I’d rather go to lipton so I could see Desi (I dunno if you’re going Mal...if you are, and if CJ is too...I’m gonna be pist if I don’t go.)
I’m just not gonna get my hopes up so I don’t end up feeling crumby when I don’t go. Come to think of it...lipton isn’t that close.
SHUT UP ALREADY FUCK.

METALLICA TOMORROW (^_^)

deadtofall @ 2004-05-04T11:56:00

2004-05-04T17:59:36Z

MY FUCKING GRAD DRESS IS IN BITCH!!!!!!!
mom & i are gonna go get it in stoon right away <3 <3
that came as a surprise. it sure would be nice to see Juston or Sarde when i'm there. oh well, i'm goin again on Thursday/Friday. hopefully i see Juston. i like him a lot. uhh stupid boys.

pretty much all i have to say/care about

2004-05-03T20:06:47Z

countdown to metallica: 4 fucking days.

aaand:
-i got drunk thursday night & saturday night.
-owen phoned = )
-greg phoned too...but i didn't get to talk to him cuz he phoned after i left.

yeah this was just in my DJ.

2004-04-29T20:07:51Z

the jacket thing i bought at winners smells like hospital. i hate it. spare is really boring. tomorrow is a good day cuz i have spares in 1st and last class, but we have social after dinner, so Amy & i are skipping and we're going to her house. i want a truck of my own, not a car. i think, wait...no. i just passed up sex with Tyler. yeah, that's right. i figured i'd be nice and let him rub my leg in social today...haha that sounds so fucked. regina was alright. i was really tired the whole time. i haven't got much sleep this week. man, i phoned (almost) everyone tuesday night and no one was home :'( shopping with my mom is the best. we bought a buncha Lancome makeup. the lady said i have gorgeous skin. well at least i have something going for me. went to the doctor. there was this psycho chick in the waiting room that wouldn't stop coughing and she said she was gonna put a gun to her head. it was crazy. phoned Mally on the way out. [you made me feel a lot better mal, thanks for bein you] owen's answering machine is the shit. (yesterday was) 1 month til Amber's grad. >>>>> next weekend is metallica!!!!!!!!!!!!

deadtofall @ 2004-04-20T22:37:00

2004-04-21T04:44:49Z

man i'm fucking cold.
and bored.
and tired.

i hate this computer, it's fucking up more & more. it's the net tho...i don't know what to do or how to fix it. it's only on mine tho...cept msn is being a bitch & i have to get the new version, and with dial-up it's been 1hr+12min so far and it's only 2/3 done. I FUCKING HATE THIS.

i love this song.
Ituna. Saturday. D r u n k .

i wish Juston would come out soon, i miss him.
amber phoned tonight. we talked for an hour. none of you will ever have a friend as amazing as her.

guess what? steven crushed his hand between 2 pieces of steel & then cut it with a piece of tin. so now he's on workers comp this week.

i decided i'm asking Lee to be my grad escort. he's a nice boy. and a good friend.

i made the grad invite layout today, now all i gotta get is some nice paper (it'll end up being plain) and send my invites out!
i'm making the powerpoint for grad too.
i wanna go back to regina now.

dad got a courtesty car cuz his truck is gettin ...fixed. so i get to take it all this week. he told me i could "drive the shit out of it" um, when you watch cky2k dad...you'd rephrase that. = )

this is the 3rd time Jordan has drove by my house in the past hour. normally i wouldn't notice this, but his stereo in his blazer is so crazy loud, it's honestly probly 1 of the loudest stereo's one could buy for their vehicle. the bass is unreal. and i can hear the song from INSIDE the house. fuck.

mutherfucker...

2004-04-13T04:22:31Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

deadtofall @ 2004-04-06T13:45:00

2004-04-06T19:53:56Z

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuckin rights, i didn't mind getting up this morning.
it's sooooo nice out. almost summer.
my last spring break ever : ( AND the last break of grade 12...after this there's only may long weekend, which hopefully will be spent in regina then i'll just stay til the distillers show.
i miss amber.
gah, enough!

tyler's back! !!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOT! party at his place tonight. he got in shit today for licking my neck, it was the greatest. it's a long story, better left untold.

so it's spare. and i'm trying to scan some pictures but teachers keep poppin in. GO AWAY FUCK.

jordan's blazer is the best thing in the world. if i rode in it any longer i could have got off. his fuckin stereo is wicked loud. like so loud, he was outside of the school and ppl started coming out just cuz they heard it.

hey, i have a plan ("i have a dream!")
catch a ride back to regina this weekend with my auntie gwen and uncle eugene and stay til 13th (tuesday?) yeah.
i guess i should stay with amber sometime!!!!! : )

deadtofall @ 2004-03-07T15:47:00

2004-03-07T21:48:32Z

Your Heart is Purple

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

this is just great

like requiem for a dream!

2004-03-07T20:56:56Z

You are HEROIN.

What Drug Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

how exciting